The Practice of Becoming
How the bible and psychology agree on what transforms you
There’s a war inside every human being. A quiet, invisible struggle between what we believe, what we feel, and how we live.
Psychology gives this war names: cognitive distortions, fear responses, maladaptive behaviors, identity confusion. Scripture speaks of it as the battle between the flesh and the spirit, the renewal of the mind, and the working out of our salvation with trembling.
Though these fields speak different languages, they point to the same reality: you are not a fixed self. You are a becoming. And unless you learn to understand and govern your inner world, you will live at the mercy of your own mind.
Most of your behavior is automatic and shaped by childhood experiences, traumas, attachments, and environmental conditioning. Your beliefs, habits, fears, and desires often operate beneath conscious awareness. You’re not as rational as you think.
The stakes are high. If you don’t master these truths, your subconscious, default operating system will master you.
But freedom is possible. Change is possible. Maturity is possible.
Below I list five core truths about your psychology. Each confirmed by both modern science and ancient Scripture, that you must understand to live with clarity, integrity, and purpose. These are not just insights; they are invitations: to renew your mind, reclaim your agency, and walk in the emotional and spiritual authority that God designed you for.
1. Your Brain Lies to You
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?”
— Jeremiah 17:9 (NKJV)
Psychology:
Cognitive science shows that your brain constantly distorts reality. You experience the world not as it is, but as your mind filters it, through biases, beliefs, trauma, and shortcuts. Your brain lies to you to protect you, save energy, and preserve ego, but these lies often create fear, misjudgment, and unnecessary suffering.
Scripture:
The Bible anticipates this flaw. Jeremiah warns that your inner self, your heart and mind is deceptive. It's not automatically trustworthy. This is why Scripture calls us to renew our minds (Rom. 12:2) and test every thought (2 Cor. 10:5). Truth isn’t found by trusting your feelings, it’s found by aligning them with God’s Word.
✅ Application: Don't believe everything you think. Submit your thoughts to God’s truth and practice mental renewal through prayer, Scripture, and self-awareness.
2. What You Avoid Controls You
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
— 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)
Psychology:
Avoidance behavior amplifies fear over time. When you back away from a challenge, your brain learns, “this is dangerous,” even if it's not. The result? Fear becomes your master. You lose confidence, autonomy, and growth because your world shrinks to the size of your comfort zone. Avoidance is control in disguise.
Scripture:
Paul’s words to Timothy cut straight to the core of fear-based living. God didn’t give you fear. That’s a foreign spirit. What He gave you is power (agency), love (relational grounding), and a sound mind (rational clarity). You were not designed to run. You were made to stand, think clearly, and act in love.
✅ Application: When fear rises, remember what God did give you: power, love, and a sound mind in and through His Holy Spirit. Hold your thoughts captive and prayerfully move toward what scares you, not away from it.
3. You Are Not Who You Think You Are. You’re Who You Practice
“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”
— James 1:22 (NKJV)
Psychology:
Your identity is shaped by repetition, not revelation. You don’t become patient, disciplined, or loving by wishing it. You become those things by repeatedly practicing them. Neuroplasticity shows that action rewires the brain. Identity isn’t found. It’s built.
Scripture:
James delivers the same rebuke: knowledge without action is self-deception. Transformation doesn’t happen by knowing the Word. It happens by doing it. The Bible insists that your identity is proven by your practice, not your opinions or intentions.
✅ Application: Don't just “believe” better. Live better. Practice the disciplines of Christ. Lean into the identity God calls you into until it becomes who you are.
4. You Are Wired for Emotion, But Built to Regulate It
“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.”
— Proverbs 16:32 (NKJV)
Psychology:
Emotions are often helpful, but unchecked, they can become destructive. Emotional regulation is the ability to feel deeply without reacting destructively. It’s a key indicator of maturity and health. The goal is not suppression, but wise stewardship of emotional energy.
Scripture:
The Bible agrees: a person who masters their spirit is stronger than a warrior. The fruit of the Spirit includes self-control, not because emotions are bad, but because they must be guided by truth, not impulse. Even Jesus wept, got angry, and rejoiced but He was never ruled by His feelings.
✅ Application: Embrace emotion, but don’t serve it. Be present. Feel everything. Then, in honesty, respond with truth and self control.
5. You Will Suffer Either Way. So Suffer for Something Worthwhile
“…that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings…”
— Philippians 3:10 (NKJV)
Psychology:
Pain is unavoidable, but meaningless pain crushes, while purposeful pain transforms. Psychologists note that people endure extreme hardship when they attach it to something bigger than themselves, a vision, a value, a mission. Purpose gives suffering context.
Scripture:
Paul echoes this precisely. He considers all comfort and achievement worthless compared to the surpassing value of knowing Christ, even if it means sharing in His sufferings. Anchor them in the Cross of Christ: in His love, in faith, and His eternal purpose, not yours.
✅ Application: Don’t try to escape all suffering. Direct it toward the Cross. Let Jesus mediate them. Let suffering deepen your faith, not drown it.
You are not a passive observer of your life, you are responsible and accountable to God for how you live. But if you surrender to Jesus’ lordship, He will be your shepherd, a foundation to build your house on, your life’s gardener, and its keeper.
"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus"
— Philippians 1:6
Every thought you examine, every fear you face, every small act of obedience is part of the quiet, unseen labor of becoming. Not who the world expects. Not who your past has shaped. But who God has called forth from within you.
Psychology helps us understand the terrain of the mind. Scripture gives us the compass. And together, they show us that transformation isn’t a moment. It’s a process. It’s not found in inspiration alone but in repeated alignment with truth, action, and grace.
You were not designed to live on autopilot, driven by childhood wounds, unchecked emotions, or reactive habits. You were made to live awake. Sober-minded. Anchored. Free.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…”
— Romans 12:2
So choose the narrow path. Practice the truth. And when the old voices rise, the fear, the distortion, the impulse to numb or avoid, remember this:
You are not who you were.
You are not who you feel like.
You are who you are becoming, in Christ.
And that becoming is holy ground.